


your hoodie

by wngpxppy



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Exes, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers to Exes, Hyunjin is Sad, Lovers to exes - Freeform, M/M, Memories, Past Relationship(s), Sad Hwang Hyunjin, Song: Hoodie (Hey Violet), and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29160363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wngpxppy/pseuds/wngpxppy
Summary: Hyunjin and Minho were in love once.Now, Hyunjin is remembering their time together as he stumbled upon Minho's favorite hoodie, wondering why the older had to leave him.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37
Collections: Drabbles Challenge for Chaotic Writers





	your hoodie

**Author's Note:**

> here is something i have always wanted to write and now, thanks to the challenge, i had a reason to  
> anyways, enjoy everyone~

It had been exactly five months and 14 days since he had been occupying Seungmins apartment, eating from his fridge and using up all the water in his shower. Hyunjin wished he couldn’t remember the exact day but he could and somehow, even after such a long time, he still found himself not being able to sleep, too scared that he would dream of a certain someone. So, each night he rather stayed awake for hours, looking up at the ceiling and trying to think of anything else other than the one who left him. 

It was painful to say the least, still thinking of someone who left you standing in the rain, who let go of you but somehow, you cannot seem to let go of them, hoping they will call again, text again, show up at your door, anything really. Hyunjin just wanted things to go back to the way they were six months ago, when he was happy and in love, thinking about how much his boyfriend means to him, thinking about how he had never felt this way with anyone before.

Back then, Hyunjin was sure he found the one but then, Minho walked away. 

Which brings us here, to a place Hyunjin had been avoiding like the plague because he wasn’t ready to return to this place and even now, he still wasn’t sure if he was ready but it had to happen sooner or later. Seungmin complained to him the last months over and over again about how he needs to sell that place but Hyunjin couldn’t do it, at least not without visiting it for one last time. Here he was, the keys in his hands to the apartment where Hyunjin and Minho fell in love, where their story began but it was also the place where everything ended. 

He could still recall the very day he found the apartment on a website posted by a young broke college student just like him, who was desperately looking for a roommate because he wasn’t able to pay the rent on his own. Hyunjin had always wanted to move out of his parents home, settle into his very own apartment with his very own rules and everything. He finally wanted to live. So, it only took him a few seconds to call the owner of said apartment, making an appointment to look at the room he was supposed to settle into. 

When Hyunjin and Minho first met, the younger could barely focus on the apartment he was supposed to look at. He was starstruck from the very moment Minho opened the door for him and gave him a tour through the small but beautiful place. Things went fast after that, Hyunjin moved in the next week and it didn’t take long for the two of them to become close friends. 

It was only the seventh month of them living together when Minho asked him out on a date, they had been flirting for a while before that but no one was ever ready to take the first step just yet. 

Thinking back to all that, Hyunjins longing of just wanting to go back to Seungmins apartment and laying on the couch all day while crying and watching cheesy romance movies only grew stronger by the minute. But he still could do that after he was done here, it was long due to finally sell the place and Hyunjin had to do this now or he would just back out once again. 

With a deep breath, he turned the keys around and slowly pushed the door open. 

The first thing he noticed was the temperature inside, the acute coldness made him shiver under his shirt, he could already feel the goosebumps all over his skin. It may be warm outside but inside the apartment he suddenly felt like freezing. 

Then he stepped in, the white empty walls immediately bringing back memories of his first days here when Minho insisted that walls looked prettier when they were empty. However, Hyunjin was always quick to convince him, no matter what it was, which resulted in the younger coming home one day and being met with polaroids of him and his boyfriend hanging on the wall in the form of a heart. 

Hyunjin took off his shoes, eyes lingering on the wall for one more second until he forced himself to look somewhere else.

The apartment wasn’t exactly empty, all the furniture was still here and most of the decoration too, it was just all of Minho's things that were gone. 

While the older seemed to only take a few weeks to get all his stuff out of the place like it was nothing, Hyunjin still had all of his belongings, aside from most of his clothes, stored in here. After the day Minho broke up with him, Seungmin was the only one who entered this apartment to somehow fetch some of the things Hyunjin would need eventually. He also asked if he should get the other stuff but Hyunjin always told him no. He wanted this place to at least look a little bit like home once he came back to it one day. 

But now, being back, this was far from anything he ever considered his home, from anything he ever loved and what made him feel secure. The apartment seemed lifeless without Minho’s things laying all over the place. The older one had never been the neatest person and at some point, Hyunjin stopped cleaning up after him, just leaving things where Minho decided to place them. It made the place feel warmer, almost like it had a soul. What he saw now was nothing compared to the place it once used to be. 

Hyunjin left his keys and phone on the kitchen counter, looking around the living room once again, suddenly remembering every memory he and Minho ever shared here. When he looked at the TV that hasn’t been used in an eternity he recalled the many nights Minho and him would stay awake just because Hyunjin had been wanting to watch yet another episode of his kdrama. Minho always tried his best to get him into bed, which only ever resulted in the older snuggling up to him as he decided to watch “one more episode” with his boyfriend. 

Hyunjins fluffy blankets were still sitting at the edge of the couch, neatly folded but they never were folded, Hyunjin never folded them, he would always be too lazy to do it, just deciding on leaving them on the couch but the next day, he would catch Minho folding them with a sigh. 

They both had things that they pretended they would find annoying about the other but in reality, Hyunjin loved Minho's mess and Minho loved his one just as much, or at least he used to. 

The next room he entered was the guest room, or well, now it was a guest room, four years ago it was Hyunjins bedroom. There were still a lot of his things stored on the shelf, for example all the books Hyunjin had to read while majoring in english literature or old pictures of his dog that he always needed around. There were also pictures of Hyunjin together with his college friends, there was even one with Seungmin when they first became friends. 

He remembered the exact way his room used to look before Minho and him both decided that maybe they were fine with sleeping in the same room after a year of being together. Back then, Hyunjin had preferred to sleep in his boyfriend's room anyways, being able to fall asleep with someone holding him had always been more appealing to him. 

The bathroom was unspectacular, there was barely anything inside now, aside from furniture and a bunch of beauty creams Hyunjin used to use. The only special memories he had of this room were the amount of times Hyunjin sneaked into the shower before Minho was even able to stand up from his bed, they agreed from the very start on the fact that the older would always use the bathroom first since Hyunjin needed ages in it. Still, Minho was never mad at the younger whenever he went into the bathroom first, instead preparing breakfast for the two of them in the time Hyunjin was occupying the room. 

The next room was the last one; Minho's bedroom. 

Hyunjins hand rested on the doorknob for a while, hesitating to open the door and step into the room. He wondered how empty it would look now that Minho had taken all of his things. Had he taken the bed too? The pillows and blankets? All of their pictures together? Hyunjin didn’t even want to know, he was too afraid of getting hurt. 

Because if Minho didn’t take any of their pictures with him, did they ever mean anything to him, did Hyunjin ever mean anything to him? Was Minho really ready to leave all the memories of him behind just like that? Was it that simple for him?

Sure, Minho was the one who ended things but Hyunjin knew that the love he received in the past three years was anything but fake, it couldn’t be fake. There was a time when Minho loved him, he was sure of that and Hyunjin loved him too, probably still does love him. 

But the younger needed to learn how to let go, he couldn’t hold on to these beautiful memories for eternity. After all, if Minho was able to let go, he should be able to do the same, right?

Thus, he decided to open the door. He was ready. Pressing down the doorknob somehow took him longer this time, still hesitant on what will be awaiting him behind that door but whatever it was, he was ready for it. At least that was what he tried to tell himself over and over again until he would believe in it.

The door creaked open and out of reflex, Hyunjins eyes closed shut as he took his first steps inside, not being able to tell anything that was around him right now. 

The first thing he noticed was that the room smelled a lot different, a lot colder. When he was still living here, this had always been his favorite part of the apartment and not only because he got to cuddle here with his boyfriend but also because of the way this room smelled so much nicer, so much sweeter than any other room ever did. He couldn’t describe it but each time he entered the room, he felt a smile making its way onto his face. 

Yet, there was no smile this time, there was just the nervous trembling of his fingers and his own hand covering his eyes. Slowly, he lowered said hand and opened his eyes again, needing a second to adjust to the bright daylight coming from outside the window. 

Emptiness. Silence. Heartache. 

These were the only words coming to the man’s mind as he looked around, taking in every single corner of the room and realizing just how much different it looked now. The numerous pillows and plushies that once filled the bed were all gone, leaving only a plain white mattress behind that almost looked like it has never been used before. Like no one had ever slept in that bed before but memories over memories of getting closer to his boyfriend than he had ever been to anyone before flashed through Hyunjins mind as he looked at it. Memories of Hyunjin having a nightmare and sneaking into the older’s bed and waking him in the middle of the night to ask if he could make him a cup of hot chocolate. Memories of every single lazy day, rain pouring against the window and neither of the two had the wish to ever get out of bed, so they just stayed inside, kissing and cuddling until the day was over. Still, all these memories felt like a dream now, a dream that he once thought he would never wake up from, a dream he didn’t even want to wake up from but all of a sudden, reality striked and he was all alone, letting himself fall from cloud seven until his head hit the white plain mattress. 

After a few more beautifully painful memories that wouldn’t stop conquering his mind, Hyunjin stared at the other bits inside the room. Most of their pictures together were still there, sitting on Minho’s desk where Hyunjin used to always keep the other from working on his assignments, giving him plenty of massages or simply distracting him because the younger was once again in need of attention. The usually messy desk, which used to be filled with Hyunjins drabbles to make Minho smile on a long work day, was now completely cleaned up, no sign that any pencil drabbles had ever been on there in the first place. Minho must have cleaned them up while he was here and somehow that broke Hyunjins heart once again, the older seemed to try his best at erasing every little sign of home in this apartment. The first thing he took away was himself, followed by his love and then, slowly, he took all the memories too, leaving the younger to stare at all the places he once fell in love in, all the places in which he loved Minho unconditionally. He was left with memories that didn’t connect to reality anymore because everything he ever loved, was suddenly gone and it almost seemed like it never even existed in the first place, like all the memories Hyunjin had were made up inside his mind, only an illusion his mind decided to create for him to long for. 

Hyunjin sighed as he opened his closet last, the first thing his eyes fell on were all the clothes he left behind. There were also boxes full of all the things Hyunjin had in his old room that didn’t fit in here anymore. But there was one specific thing catching his eyes. In the very back of his closet, behind all of the shoes that were still here, there was a box he hadn't seen before. All of his things were stored in the typical “moving-houses” cartons, so he immediately noticed the blue slightly smaller box sitting there. His first thought was that maybe Minho forgot it here but thinking back, he never recalled ever seeing that box before. 

With more and more curiosity bundling up inside of him, he kneeled down and carefully lifted the box to get it out of the closet. Somehow he was nervous and it also felt kind of wrong because Hyunjin was sure this was none of his boxes, so looking into something that probably belonged to Minho didn’t exactly feel right but on the other side, this used to be his apartment too, so maybe he had a right to look at it. He just hoped that it wasn’t anything important because Hyunjin couldn’t bear the thought of having to call Minho just because he found his belongings, he wouldn’t survive hearing the older’s voice again after a whole five months, he wouldn’t survive listening to him and knowing that Minho was possibly happier without him, that he had moved on already while Hyunjin was still stuck in the middle of the road, trying to run after the one who left. 

Hyunjin lifted the top of the box, shaking it a bit until the box fell in front of him again, he placed the lid on the floor beside him as he inspected what was inside the box. His fingers went over the object, it was a soft material and when he pulled it out of the box he finally got to see what it actually was. A surprised gasp left his lips. In that box laid Minho’s hoodie but it wasn’t just any ordinary hoodie that the older liked to wear occasionally, it also wasn’t only Minho’s favorite hoodie, it was so much more than that.

Looking at the hoodie reminded Hyunjin of a rainy day, back then he had been at the campus up until late at night, studying with his friend Jisung and when he left his friend’s apartment, the rain still hadn’t stopped. While Hyunjin was waiting under a small roof for the rain to end, Minho was back home worrying about why his roommate wasn’t home yet when he even texted the older twenty minutes ago that he left the campus already and was now on his way back. 

The next thing Hyunjin knew was that Minho was suddenly standing in front of him, soaking wet and completely out of breath and that was also the moment the younger realized just how much he had fallen for the man in front of him. It only took a few worried questions from the older for Hyunjin to pull the older closer and kiss him, his hands holding on to the hood of the sweater Minho was wearing. That night, in the rain, Hyunjin and Minho shared their first kiss and Hyunjin still remembered the way he held onto the hoodie as Minho reciprocated the kiss and he also still remembered the way the older put Hyunjins hand inside the pocket of the hoodie holding it on their way back home. 

It was only a few days into their relationship when Hyunjin woke up late, all of his sweaters still in the laundry and so, he ended up grabbing the first thing he found on top of their laundry pile, which was Minho’s hoodie. The older one called his name as soon as Hyunjin left the bathroom but once Minho got a better sight of Hyunjin wearing his hoodie, he waved it off, saying it was nothing and that Hyunjin should probably go to uni now. Only in class he realized that the sweater he was wearing didn’t belong to him and that this was the first time he wore Minho’s clothes. 

As soon as the younger was back at the apartment, he apologized for taking Minho’s hoodie but instead of being mad, the other just smiled at him and demanded a hug, then claiming that Hyunjin looked way cuter in the sweater anyways. 

Hyunjin had many memories connected to the piece of fabric in his hands, it had always been Minho’s favorite hoodie and with each new memory, it slowly became Hyunjins favorite one too. Sadly there weren’t only good memories connected to it because while letting his hands run over the fabric of the hoodie, he remembered a specific day five months ago. 

That night, the younger was the one wearing the hoodie, standing in front of his window in their shared bedroom as he was currently caught up in watering the plants. When Minho entered the room, he immediately hugged his boyfriend from behind, looking over the taller’s shoulder to check what exactly he was doing and to give him a small kiss on the cheek. The boy turned around in the arms of his boyfriend and they both spent a few seconds just looking into each other’s eyes.

Hyunjin remembered how in that moment, he thought about how lucky he got with everything. He got to move into this beautiful apartment and if that wasn’t already good enough, he fell in love too. Hyunjin fell in love like he never did before, he was truly madly deeply in love with his roommate and even if they had just been dating for three years, Hyunjin could already imagine a whole future with Minho. That was what he had always wanted, finding love in someone and never finding himself growing out of it, he thought that was what he had finally found when he looked at Minho that night. 

So, with the man’s hands around his waist, pulling him a little bit closer to his own body, Hyunjin felt home, he felt safe because ever since he knew Minho, the older had been his safety, his place to go whenever things turned dark and everything seemed helpless. 

To Hyunjin, Minho was his one in a million, someone he would never find again and he thought that their love would be forever because he was also sure, that he would never find a love like this ever again in his life. 

Minho was his everything, his whole universe and when the older whispered a soft “I love you” in his ear before he kissed him, Hyunjin thought that he felt the exact same way.

That was the night before Minho broke up with him, leaving him crying on the bedroom floor as he watched the door falling shut behind the man who just left him in shambles. 

Tears were flooding down his cheeks as Hyunjin hugged the hoodie in his hands, he now realized that Minho left it for him. That was the only thing he had left of the older, the only thing he could hold on to. Minho was gone but the memories of him were stuck inside the younger’s mind until eternity. 

Hyunjin missed Minho. He loved him. And as he slipped the hoodie over his head, hugging himself, breathing in the scent and realizing it had long stopped smelling like the older, he was sure of one thing;

_He still was in love with Minho and he probably always will be._

**Author's Note:**

> ngl i'm lowkey thinking about adding a second chapter to this already but i'll just wait how people will react to this hehe. hope you liked it and it would mean the world if you'd leave some nice words or kudos. have a great day <3
> 
> twitter: wngpxppy


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